i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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