Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
