I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
