party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Mom said you looked used
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
