i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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