man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
