I accidentally burped into my bong.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
