I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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