try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
