just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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