i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
