so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
