he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize