Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
