last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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