whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I understand Curling. That high.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
