our cab driver is having phone sex.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
