Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
