you guys were way drunker than both of me
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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