Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize