Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
