she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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