mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
i believe in u and ur pee
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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