I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
