I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I checked into jail on foursquare
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
