yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
