yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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