I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
