Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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