At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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