I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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