I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
