I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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