I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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