man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
