Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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