mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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