he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
