ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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