Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
