mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
