I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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