I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My feet surprised me
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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