winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
