I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You took a bar mat shot.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
