even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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