he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
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