So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
