Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize