the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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