bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I cut my penus on the lid.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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