There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
