Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
