i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
