"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
