nutella sex= disaster
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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