My nipple is on Facebook.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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