So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
