he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
