Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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