Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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