I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
