hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
