I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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