I am in a vortex of obligation.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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